X's
And all I get to say is, sorry for caring for you after things ended, sorry for still having feelings for you, sorry for being crazy for you when clearly you never had any... But there is one thing I am not sorry for, I am not sorry for the day you called me a bitch because we all know I ain't one. If I was I would play guys hearts, yet I try to explain that I still had feelings for someone else. If I was a bitch I would never try to repair my mistakes, I would never ever apologise, and I am sorry for you that you see me like this cause, just maybe, you might saw me wrong... I wasn't a bitch, I was caring, and if you or anyone else can not see that difference I am not going to borrow you my glasses so you would notice. I am sorry that I did something that made you think this of me, I truly am... And I will never lower down on the level of yours and call you a bitch too, cause I will try to understand.. And even if I never will I am not the one with the right to call you a bitch just because I would go against myself... Cause I still care, and even though you have that image of me in your head I will care.
I am done trying tho, I am not going to be the one convincing you how wrong you are, because maybe you are not. Maybe I am one when I walked away when we both needed each other to stay and maybe I am just blinded by love... But we all know how I hate the word maybe, it is so overrated , yet so useful when you need to save from an awkward situation... And to be honest I am not defending your decisions you made when you called me a bitch, I am trying to understand... Is caring bitchy? They will all say, you are just convincing yourself about how you want to feel, yet I believe every single word you said, and I am not going to get mad at you and get a revenge, cause you know I ain't the bitch you have in your mind. Love of others is important, these people see you differently then you do yourself, right? They don't see those flaws you see when you stare at your reflection after taking a shower, but they also do see things you don't. They see how you smile and how your eyes light up while talking about something really important to you. They will be here and after all this I will hear that "the love is filling your head anyways" and tbh she was right, yet I have this feeling that the self-love is way more important, self-love and self-acceptence will be what will get me from bed tomorrow and allow me to keep my head high. Not your love, not their love, my love. And even though I value these people more then anything and I will be there for them till the wolds collide, and I am so thankful for them I know this is just my war to fight. And I had already overcame the hate towards you, I just need to overcome the love I feel...
Our story has maybe more then two sides but the book is closed, words were said, things were done. There is no coming back and maybe this is how it ends... You with your assumptions and me with my caring.
With love,
The bitch that cared